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Archive for the ‘Emotions*’ Category

Argument Reduction*

In Emotions*, Habits*, Lesson-Learnt*, Lives*, People*, Thoughts* on Saturday, 31 January 2009 at 10:26 am

Living a life is sometimes, if not most of the time, complicated. Each person thinks, does, and lives her/his life in a different way. No complaint. No doubt. Nobody would be the same, even twins, who have been together for almost 9 months before born.

What we say, think, and do will impact others in a way, more or less, and perhaps the reflect of that impact will revert to us as fast as a thunder at the end.

However, nobody would be able to say, think or do something to please everybody in all aspects. One has her/his own perspectives, and the others have theirs.

This makes the argument comes into play. Very few people live their lives without arguing with others. And it is strange that, to me, most arguments are with those in my family, with those that I am close to. The closer, the more.. somehow. We even argue with ourselves!

What causes those arguments? Varied.

Misunderstanding, discussing (some people call it this way instead of arguing though it looks like the latter), (just) talking out loud, (just) speaking our minds, being frank, having a ‘minus’ attitude towards somebody, stereotyping in a negative way, pretending to be able to read others’ minds, assuming, mis-interpreting, etc.

Countless!

Solutions?

Think thoroughly about anything we are going to do and say before we really make it happen.

Act discretely until we are certain of what we are doing. Do not even let our eyes readable by others.

Shut our mouths if we have not carefully considered what we are to say. Silence can heal sometimes.

..
.

I am telling myself..

Concentration*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Thursday, 4 December 2008 at 11:51 am

When ones cannot focus on what they are doing, they cannot be successful and achieve what they expect for.

I, this morning, practised yoga while lacking attention to it. I kept thinking about this and that during the practice. I did not feel that I got anything from this morning class, plus I collapsed once when I tried to come back from a wheel posture with my right hand pointing to the ceiling.

Then I lost all my concentration after that.

..

.

Stuck*

In Emotions*, Lesson-Learnt*, Lives*, Pessimism* on Wednesday, 9 July 2008 at 4:43 pm

Refusing the translation job I got last year with Siemens might be a wrong decision. I started to regret.

Although the salary was not as much as the current job (they did offer OT wage when needed), the people and atmosphere there seemed to be nice. I could feel that when I walked into their office for a translation test and an interview.

But at the time the decision of leaving the current company was not that I was bored of the current responsibilities (unlike these days). Instead, I was sick of colleagues and internal politics.

Thus, after having talked with my boss, I decided to stay at the same old place. I was offerred higher salary increase, and promised more challenging responsibilities and tasks.

So far, only the salary is true; while I have not seen any challenges.

And now, because I graduated, I am even keener to move on, especially to the job field(s) I studied.

I am stuck now, I can feel..

Sometimes*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Pessimism*, Thoughts* on Tuesday, 29 April 2008 at 10:58 am

Sometimes, I just don’t know if I dislike the job, the place, or the people.

I really don’t know, sometimes.

 

 

Too Much*

In Emotions*, Lives*, People*, Pessimism*, Somebody* on Friday, 18 April 2008 at 5:08 pm

Two customers came in together today to test a SIM card. They cannot be called a potential or profitable one because they are interested in airtime and will be using it for a few days as a demo for their customers.

I always feel comfortable and am willing to serve any customers who talk nice and don’t act like shit, and one of them seemed nice when we talked on the phone.

When they came, we went on with the demo before we talked more about the pricing and proper packages for his usage requirement.

Finally, since the prepaid packages do not allow any ’streaming’ service, while the postpaid package would cost a lot and 12-month contract is required; I could offer him a loan on our own demo and we charge them back with the minutes and MB used later.

I think this would be the best thing I have ever done for a customer because they have never bought anything from us. I just thought that it was good that they had a chance to try it and we had no costs, so why not?

After they knew they could borrow the demo card, they said they wanted one more. OK, my colleague was also nice and said that we had one in Singapore. We sorted it out and we could borrown that, and it should be able to be shipped next week.

However, they did not know the word ENOUGH. They told my colleague that they wanted to borrown our terminal as well. Once I heard, I at once said TOO MUCH. THAT WAS TOO MUCH, PEOPLE!

I walked to talk to them right away that borrowing our terminal was not possible. That they could borrow our demo card and would not have to pay for the activation and monly fee was really too much. And what.. one of them still said..

‘So, I will have only one terminal for testing.’

‘OK then. You will need only one SIM card.’ I turned away right after the full stop. But I recalled that I should have said goodbye to him and asked when they wanted to come and get the card.

‘OK, so that’s it.’ My face was like the other way around from the first time I met them last hour, surely. ‘Good bye.’

(I will be happy if this will not be successful…. I do not want this kind of customers.)

What Am I Waiting For?*

In Emotions*, Somebody*, Thoughts* on Tuesday, 12 February 2008 at 2:20 pm

Return

Love

Passion

Hope

Never after

Friendship

Care

Forever

Couple

Single

 

 

..

Meditation for Better EQ*

In Emotions*, Habits*, People*, Pessimism*, Thoughts* on Wednesday, 19 December 2007 at 9:54 am

‘Mum, I think I should go somewhere for meditation.’

‘Why? Who told you to do that?’

‘No one. It is myself. I feel that I need more control over my emotion.’

‘…’

‘Ah, I’d better talk to my auntie-in-law.’

‘Yea, she said she would ask you to join her when she had a plan for any meditation.’

‘Hmm.. good then.’

..

Experiencing myself getting very emotional each day, and hardly being able to bring back my positive feelings and thinking about people around; I feel annoyed about myself.

Besides, a situation yesterday afternoon made me realise that though I tried to be positive and optimistic, my inner thought is very negative and pessimistic. What I really do is just hiding my real feelings and trying to be nice to everyone. And once I cannot stand being like that, the negative feelings just explode!

The situation was that, while I was studying for the exam, Pek and Meen came into the study room. They are very kind and always helpful to everyone. More importantly, they have never made me feel that they are taking advantages of anyone. On the contrary, they are taken advantages of by others.

Before they arrived, they had asked me to explain this and that in the chapter my friends and I presented in class. I am not good at explaining something, but I tried. However, mostly, it was them who explaining and digesting everything in other lectures to me. They did that on their own will, and I was a good learner.

They are a very lovely couple and I am looking forward to their wedding. Hope they would invite me to join and I would definitely go!

Well, the real point I want to mention here is that, although they may not like a few friends’ behaviours who act as freeriders, or may feel awkward with a few friends who pretend not being knowledgeable in anything; they are able to getting along with those friends, while they do not look unhappy.

I think they just do not think about those friends too much and ignore some bad behaviours they do not like. When talking to those friends, I reckon, they may not try to recall negative feelings up to the point that may cause them to stop talking to those people.

I am in contrast, somehow. One thing impacts the rest in a roll. That’s me! I am making things even worse.

Normally, I do not complain much. Most who only see me in the first few times or who have never worked in group with me would rarely see how I am.

  • I can be very kind when I feel people are fair with me.
  • I can be very understanding when people have good reasons to support their behaviours.
  • I can be very reasonable when people show me that they are reasonable as well.
  • I can be convinced and taught by those who can show me that they are also following the same things they are suggesting me. Show me you can also do that; otherwise, do not dare teaching me!
  • I can be very considerate when people show me they contribute a lot to the group work.
  • I can be very sympathised and helpful when people show me that they have tried very hard to get a thing done, but they fail and need my assistance.

On the other hand,..

  • I can be very mean when people ignore my offer of helping and they cannot complete the task which impact the whole group.
  • I can ignore whatever-whoever without trying to understand when people always use the same reason that they are not born to do this. Is this a supporting reason? I am not sure if it is.
  • I can be upset and negative once I find that those who try to teach me something in this real world cannot even follow their own words in their own lives, especially when they break their words by doing such things (they said it was not proper) with me. They tell me not to do, while they do it themselves!
  • I can be a devil when people keep playing around without showing their attention and intention to work by hoping that at the end of the day their work would be covered and edited by others, or hoping that others would step in and help them finish the work. I ignore these people.

And when these negative feelings happen, I would spend over a week to have them faded away. This is not good for myself.

I have a problem with my EQ!

Non-Sense*

In Emotions*, Lesson-Learnt*, Lives*, People*, Pessimism*, Somebody*, Something* on Thursday, 6 December 2007 at 4:14 pm

When asking for any security deposit back from a company or service provider, would I accept that my credit card has been credited when there is no proof?

No.

.

And would Nikki accept that her credit card has been credited when there is no proof?

I do not think so.

.

It is not $100, but $1,000! If I were a customer, I would shout at the rep from the provider, and would not leave this office till I had an evidence to prove that my money had been returned to my account.

How come Nikki left me and did not even try to forward me the receipt (which showed that the amount had been refunded)? I even asked her to take a photo of the receipt. She laughed and said the customer would have to wait till tomorrow.

Ha! If you were a customer, would you Nikki? Kid!

Thinking that the money would be automatically transferred to the customer’s credit card right away (and Nikki said so), I just went to talk to the customer and asked him to check with his card provider; while Nikki was leaving for home.

And it turned out that the card provider could not see any credited amount in the customer’s account yet!

D a r n . . . .  

.

Wish I could go home now.. Moody!

Lesson-learnts

  • Transfers to and from a credit card/ bank might not be done right way. Normally, it takes a daily process. For this case, the transaction would be done through the system around midnight.
  • Don’t let Nikki go until the job is successfully done. Otherwise, she will not be contactable at all. No matter how often I call or text, she will just keep quiet without any returning calls.
  • I should not allow or favour any customer with the credit card application anymore. Actually, the credit card application is not for Thailand, but Australia. And when it happens in Australia, it is out of my control (I cannot control the machine, as well as people’s minds and behaviours). Unlucky for the coming customers. No more credit card application from me ever!

..

P.S. Anyway, this customer is also quite picky and always wants this and that in his way. When he came for renting the phone, it was like he did not read what I had emailed to him.

He came and started asking everything again. I spent over 2 hours with him. And when he came, he said he did not have $1,500 to pay in cash, and if it was possible to use his credit card. I favoured him and tried to get everything in the ways he wanted.. and now.. problem.. ! Duh! 

Next time, I would let all customers now that credit card use is not possible here. Customers have to ensure they have enough cash or can transfer the amount to our bank account.

Candle*

In Emotions*, Optimism*, Something*, Thoughts* on Sunday, 11 November 2007 at 10:46 pm

Currently, I have my candle (got from a senior colleauge) lit and shining in front of me.

Although the candle is not a large one, I can feel the warmth and see the bright moon-like light.

Although the candle is small, I am touched with a hug of warmth.

Although the candle cannot do anything else, apart from being lit and shining, I thank it for the lightness, the brightness, and the warmth.

Those are being delivered into my heart.

.

A Memory*

In Emotions*, Lives*, New Zealand*, Optimism*, People*, Somebody* on Tuesday, 6 November 2007 at 6:16 pm

Nice evening I had today :)

[17:39] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: waddee krap
[17:39] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: so tired
[17:39] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: 2 exams tomorrow but havnt hv time to study
[17:40] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: bought a restaurant near home last monday
[17:40] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: been caught in the middle between work and study since then
[17:40] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: how are you anyway? i may have gone to bed when you get this but that’s ok
[17:41] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: ma bon hai fung laew ja pai non la
[17:41] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: c ya

[17:41] Mook: arai waaaaaaaaa
[17:41] Mook: talk to me first..
[17:41] Mook: T_T”
[17:41] Mook: thought you were on holiday.. why having exam la?
[17:42] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: arai la ther
[17:42] Mook: aow.. just want to talk some time si.. we haven’t talked a lot so far
[17:42] Mook: just miss our conversations
[17:43] Mook: anyway.. you bought a thai restaurant? so your mum would cook?
[17:43] Mook: oh.. sorry, you are having exam ni na..
[17:43] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is offline
[17:43] Mook: aow.. offline pai loei..
[17:44] Mook: hahaaa.. ok, ok..
[17:45] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is online
[17:45] Mook: so you’re online or offline nia’
[17:45] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: err..
[17:45] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: happy birthday na ther
[17:45] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: sorry na, a bit late

[17:45] Mook: 4 days late T_T”
[17:46] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: mai koi dai online a’…
[17:46] Mook: you’re the one that i expected to get a msg on the day cos i didn’t think you would forget.. its easy to remember..
[17:46] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: back home kor straight to bed most days
[17:46] Mook: mobile is broken or what?
[17:46] Mook: duh..
[17:46] Mook: anyway.. thanks
[17:46] Mook: at least you say something
[17:47] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: yeah… haven’t have it for a week
[17:47] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: batt searm..
[17:47] Mook: huh?
[17:47] Mook: oh.. broken jing jing
[17:47] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: wanna buy a new one but still looking
[17:47] Mook: hahaa….
[17:47] Mook: what model you’re using now?
[17:47] Mook: bough iPhone si
[17:47] Mook: hahaa
[17:47] Mook: bought*
[17:48] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: looked at it but dont like
[17:48] Mook: its sold in NZ?
[17:48] Mook: legally?
[17:48] Mook: thais mainly use the illegal ones
[17:48] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: too big for my pocket
[17:48] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: plus iphone dont have pen 555

[17:48] Mook: your current phone has a pen?
[17:48] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: yeah
[17:49] Mook: really? hi-soo
[17:49] Mook: what model is it?
[17:50] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: htc touch
[17:50] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: batt isn’t very good
[17:50] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: but functions and features plus look is good
[17:50] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: laew tum rai yoo a’ near
[17:50] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: i’ll be going to bed soon na ther

[17:50] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is offline
[17:51] Mook: oh.. my friend has that htc.. looks nice, but i like iphone more
[17:51] Mook: type type type and offline eek la
[17:51] Mook: at work..
[17:51] Mook: leaving office at 6pm to uni
[17:51] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is online
[17:51] Mook: what time is it there? 5 hours ahead?
[17:51] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: hi soo yoo laew jmuirg
[17:51] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: how’s mum?

[17:51] Mook: jmuirg <<< what? an emoticon?
[17:52] Mook: she’s fine…
[17:55] Mook: just looked at your mum’s and jim’s pic in the last two nights eng.. hahaa
[17:57] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is offline
[17:58] Mook: real offline this time??
[18:00] Mook: ok jaaa… take care and good night.. good luck in your exam
[18:03] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is online
[18:04] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: they still old and grumpy lol
[18:04] Mook: aow..
[18:04] Mook: back laew rer..
[18:04] Mook: your internet connection sucks??? ))
[18:05] Mook: so, who will cook for the restaurant you bought la?
[18:05] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: ja
[18:05] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: pai shave ma

[18:05] Mook: shave before going to bed nia na ther
[18:06] Mook: what’s the exam about tomorrow?
[18:07] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is offline
[18:07] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is online
[18:07] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: ther
[18:07] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: pai non la na

[18:07] Mook: a’na..
[18:07] Mook: ok ok
[18:07] Mook: good luck in your exam
[18:08] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: all the best for this year na.. sorry, no present again.. will be around when it comes next year ok
[18:08] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: g’nite krap
[18:08] Mook: nite jaa
[18:08] Mook: you say it na..
[18:08] Mook: for next year
[18:09] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: ps: i love uni life coz it makes me feel young but i hate assessments
[18:09] ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~: nite nite

[18:09] Mook: hahaa..
[18:09] Mook: sleep tight
[18:09] Mook: nice talking to you tonight
[18:11] Meebo Message: ~(L)so tired.. exam 2moro with no study~ is offline

 

Although it hurts some time when thinking of the past, it is still refreshing when talking to those in the past again.

.

Because of Some Friends*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Mum*, Optimism*, People*, Pessimism*, Thoughts* on Wednesday, 31 October 2007 at 6:27 pm

Thanks to some friends who made me realise that there is nobody in this world would beat my mum in the way she gives loves, cares, and everything to me.

Some people, in their teens, would give cares, loves, and trusts to their friends more than their families.

Whatever friends say, that is the right thing to follow.

Whatever their families tell them, that is a rule and frame that they (think) are forced to do.

No matter how picky and querulous my mum is sometimes, she is the person who cares and loves me the most EVER!

My mum would never ever let me stand at the footpath at 2230hrs–surrounded by some cabs and drivers–for over 10 minutes just because I unintentionally hung up the phone too quickly when she tried to tell me where I should wait for her. Instead, she would call again and complain a bit that I hung up too fast without listening to her. She would never let me standing among those male drivers at that time.

In the other way around, a friend called me and I hung up too fast unintentionally when she tried to tell me where she wanted me to wait. I then waited for her at the footpath in front of the place thinking that she was on the way here (did not think that she was here). Over 10 cabs were around with some drivers and that was over 2200hrs.

Around 10 minutes after, she called and said that she had arrived since she called me the first time, but she meant to tease me by having me waiting like that because I did hang up the phone too fast without listening to her.

She did not even imagine how dangerous it was being outside with all those cabs around. She was not even close to me, but far farward where I was not in her sight. She could not see if there was anything happening to me! She could not and she let me over there.

My another friend’s and my ice-cream was melting while waiting for her since I had to carry both cups and had no chance to try it!

Almost out of control that night. Luckily, what I did was just stop talking and keep quiet. Otherwise, I might have thrown the ice-cream away and taken a cab back to my car at the university myself.

Who cares..

..

Love you, Mum.

.

I have to appreciate that the friend even made me know more the level of my mum’s loves and cares.

Thanks.

Lack*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Pessimism* on Thursday, 27 September 2007 at 4:35 pm

Oh, well..
Oh, well.

Here I am again. This kind of feelings comes back again. It tells me that perhaps I made the wrong decision.

Is it really right that I chose to stay here and work here? Is it really OK?

‘Yes, it is. You need some more months to finish your study before you will decide to move on,’ a part of my heart and brain says so.

‘Maybe not, maybe I should have taken a risk of trying the new company I got a confirmation of employment. And also the management trainee job that asked me for an interview. That was to get 3 out of 7 candidates.’

(I am feeling I have talked about this before somehow.)

The difficulties for me these days are that I am assigned to do some different tasks and responsibilities without any proper job descriptions and directions. Although I can handle multi tasks but when all of them happen to be urgent at the exactly same time, I feel like dying!

  • I do things that somebody does not want to handle and, to be exact, totally ignore.
  • I have to do some unimportant and small things that those who prefer significant issues neglect.
  • I do things I am not sure if I like to spend the rest of my life with.
  • I cannot see a clear direction and path of my working life for now and, especially, from here.
  • I am wondering if I am really happy working here.

What am I doing here?

..

.

I keep wondering.

..

 

All in all, take some time to think about my future. Then, I see it is only some more months and I should be able to step forward to somewhere else, maybe.

Mind Happiness*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Thoughts* on Monday, 17 September 2007 at 12:54 pm

Just this morning, I could think of what I should call ‘mind happiness.’

What is the mind happiness? How can you tell whether you own your mind happiness?

Here you go.

  • You are happy deep down from the bottom of your heart.
  • The happiness that you keep in a chest within your heart where you can open and feel of it anytime.
  • The happiness that no matter when you think of it, it is still there for you.
  • It is something that makes you smile and remind you of the happiness in your life.
  • It is a treasure for which you do not have to spend much time or long journey to search, but it is in you and your heart.
  • It is what you see when you close your eyes.
  • It will never leave you.
  • It will always be with you and keep you strong.
  • It will comfort you from whatever hurtful sorrows.
  • It is immortal.
  • You will hardly tell how you feel, either sad or happy, while you are thinking of the mind happiness.
  • You may regret that you can only have such happiness in mind, but not in real life or not now.
  • You may be thankful to have such mind happiness to keep you alive, and keep you blood flowing in your heart.

As long as you still have a chest for your mind happiness, you are still alive with happiness.

Keep the treasure and be the happy master!

Just to Remember*

In Emotions*, Lives*, People* on Saturday, 15 September 2007 at 9:41 pm

It has been almost 2 years from the break-up day (that was the new year day in 2006), but I still have him in my heart.

I do not think I leave any space for somebody else, even though I realise that he left me and would never come back. I know.

After that hurt day and he went back to NZ, we had a chance to talk twice this year (just this year, not in 2006). And, always, after the talks, I would miss him a lot and look forward to talking to him again.

Why do I forget that he left me and he may have someone else? He must have someone else for sure, esp the lady in Chiang Mai, I am sure. The lady, Suttiluck, is very cute, I must admit. I cannot beat her.

Anyway, why do I need to beat her? Though I can beat her, he may still not like me because of many reasons.

He raised the point that we were too far apart and the distance caused the break-up. However, with the lady, he did not worry about the distance.

That proves something, right?

‘Stop your feeling,’ I always try to tell myself to stop thinking about him.

I can keep him in my heart, but do not expect to have a nice chat all the time. It is impossible! It is non-sense. He will not come back.. He won’t!!

Remember him just in your heart.
Don’t feel hurt. It passed.
Happy to thinking about him.
That is more than enough.

Gratitude to Chit-Chats*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Optimism*, People* on Wednesday, 12 September 2007 at 10:32 pm

Got a chance talking to Tri again tonight. I raised the topic, without even greeting, of Bakery songs that both Tri and Jack mentioned before.

12-Sep-07
07:00:22 PM
me: use hi-speed at home?

12-Sep-07
07:00:52 PM
him: broadband

That was the start of our conversation, and the rest was not many though. I just kept sending the links to some albums I uploaded into the Internet for him (them).

  1. Thank you for having a conversation last night.
  2. Thank you that he had not finished his assignments quicker than this; otherwise, I would not see him online.
  3. Thanks to Jack, who I invited to the conversation later, of talking to Tri because that allowed me to have a little more clues about Tri. At least, he was using the Internet from a guy named Bank.
  4. Thanks to myself that my heart was not shaking while talking to him.

Love.

12-Sep-07
08:21:41 PM
him: never heard of any of them 555

12-Sep-07
08:21:51 PM
me: a’ rer..

12-Sep-07
08:22:01 PM
him: chai

12-Sep-07
08:22:06 PM
me: try Jojo.. we’re listening to it

12-Sep-07
08:22:10 PM
him: how’s the report?

12-Sep-07
08:22:19 PM
me: on it now. due tonight.. by midnight

12-Sep-07
08:22:24 PM
him: we are who are we?

12-Sep-07
08:22:41 PM
me: the whole group (5 ppl) are at uni. my other 4 friends and i

12-Sep-07
08:22:47 PM
him: aow. u stay at uni?

12-Sep-07
08:22:59 PM
me: also last night and tonight. uni closes at 11pm

12-Sep-07
08:23:00 PM
him: mum la

12-Sep-07
08:23:03 PM
me: at home

12-Sep-07
08:23:19 PM
him: 11pm then go home ??

12-Sep-07
08:23:33 PM
me: right. arrive home around 11.30

12-Sep-07
08:23:47 PM
me: :D ซิ่ง ช้าๆ กลับบ้าน ๕๕๕

12-Sep-07
08:24:20 PM
him: how’s your driving now? feel more confident?

12-Sep-07
08:24:34 PM
me: sure.. 2 years already

Gratitude to Special Someone*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Optimism* on Monday, 10 September 2007 at 5:20 pm

Because the chat last night, I still feel of some smiles on my face when I think of him, Tri.

  1. Thank to Tri for greeting me last night. That at least made me feel that I was not ignored.
  2. Thanks to myself that I can still think of him with smiles.
  3. Thanks to me that today I do not feel of any hatred to him like earlier.
  4. Thanks to him for not answering me about the phrase “หัวใจผูกกัน” he used as his MSN icon. Otherwise, I might have hurt more.
  5. Thanks to him for telling a few more things about himself at this time.

Miss you as always.

 

:)

Employees*

In Emotions*, Lives*, People* on Monday, 27 August 2007 at 2:23 pm

I really hate dealing with people.

People are selfish.
People are self-centric.
People are narrow-minded.

..
Employees often position themselves as if they are the most wanted people in the companies.

Employees tend to request for more benefits, and are not willing to lose any benefits they have got.

Employees have never wanted to lose, but to gain at all bits.

Employees will take all chances that allow them to gain, although stupidly small, benefits, without concerning whether that would affect their companies’ performance or not.

Employees know only how to yell when they do not get their salary increase or their bonuses at the end of the fiscal year, but never trace back to their behaviours whether they have ever helped the companies saving anything, e.g. electricity cost, water supply costs, etc.

What employees have in their heads are that they would request for as many things as they can in order to take advantages from their companies.

Once employees lose just a cent of their benefits, they would express their unappreciation.

When their benefits do not meet their expectation, they seem to be upset and think that the companies do not want them. Then, they act stupidly.

So, what make employees happy is to give them everything they want?

..

Duh!

WOL*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Mum* on Friday, 24 August 2007 at 2:37 pm

Have you ever heard of LOL?

Right, that is a normal acronym. People, esp. around the cyberworld know LOL.

How about WOL? Anyone? :)

My WOL is not..

  • Way Of Life
  • Water of Life (Fontana, California Church)
  • Wake-On-LAN (Intel networked remote control)
  • Word of Life
  • World Online
  • Without Limit
  • Work on Line
  • Woman of Leisure
  • Wow Out Loud (internet slang)

Source: Acronym Finder Search

Although the last one is almost similar to my created WOL, mine is a little different and idoit! LOL… :))

Whining
Out
Loud

..
I did whine half-out loud last night when I reached home. That was after my mum began her complaints because I said, ‘No, I don’t want that.’ when she asked about buying a kind of fruits.

She said I was kinda ignorant while walking with her in the market.

Huh? Did I?

That was the fruit she likes, so why she had to ask me if I would want it? My point is that if she likes, she can just stop and buy it. I will not walk away, but wait till the purchase is done anyway.

What to do with me saying not wanting it. I do not understand, really.

I tried to explain that I was not a factor that she would buy it or not. Why she blamed me. Why she said there would be no food/ fruit stock in our refrigerator because I did say no?

Huh? Really?

And because of this, she started speaking out of her lung, and so did I. We sounded like making an argument because of the fruit!

Huh?

Thus, once I arrived my bedroom, I just could not stand still. Actually, I wanted to scream out loud, but I could not.. Instead, while I was trying to scream, I turned to be crying and then whining louder and louder.

Sigh.. it took over 10 minutes to stop.

 

 

 

.

 

- -”

Upset Mum*

In Emotions*, Lives*, Mum*, WLW* on Thursday, 16 August 2007 at 8:12 am

Rarely see my mum cry because of work or colleagues (She cries sometimes when we both argue). She is so strong. But yesterday evening, it happened.

She called and her voice sounded strange. When asked, she said she was angry with someone at her office. When we met, she told the story.

She was asked to do an extra job of other company (owned by her boss’ son) that is not under her responsibility. She was asked to do because she was skillful in accounting stuff. Unfortunately, when she works extra, she never gets paid for it.

Some outsiders, who just see her work extra, always think that she gets paid extra. Thus, when my mum spends some time on the extra work, which there is nobody wanting to take responsibility, she is monitored.

And last night, her colleague talked to her sarcastically, ‘What are you doing? What are you guys doing with the extra work?’

She does not have to do that, for god’s sake! She did help because the job was from her boss’ son, who is nice to and respects her, while she does not get paid at all!

Why can’t those people handle the job themselves them? Why asked my mother? Why made her upset and shed her tears! Damn it!

I told my mum that if she was not happy with the work she did, just quit. At my current salary, I believe I can take care of her although without her salary, we may not be able to over-spend as usual.

We will survive anyway.

.

.

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Concentration*

In Emotions* on Sunday, 4 February 2007 at 11:51 am

Have you ever felt angry with anything?

If so, how did you deal with your emotion at the time?

My last furiousness was last night. What I did was walking to the chanting room (in Buddhism, that is a room where we place our respectful statues of buddha or monks) in my house.

I rarely, hardly ever, visited the room though I walked pass it every single day to my bedroom.

Last night, I did.

After lighting three joss sticks, I then sat in front of all statues and started chanting a set of chating words. If I am not wrong, one set included 25 small chapters.

Not only once, but over 10 rounds of the chanting. I just tried to concentrate on those single words, so that I would not think of what made me angry…….

That helped a bit. Only a bit because I was a newbie in this kind of things. I am very far from religion, somehow.

Although I did not know the meaning of those chanting words, I felt that they could calm me down when I tried to pronounce every single word correchantly. The language used is Pali.

A way of concentration.. :)

HAPPY New Year?*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Wednesday, 3 January 2007 at 1:19 pm

If I am not wrong, last year I also started my 2006 with an argument with my mum and with a sadness from the broken-up.

Similarly, this year 2007, I seemed to start my new year with an argument and tears.

Will the coming year be a good year for me?

I received some blessing messages from friends, including ‘him.’ Ignorantly, I just replied him only once with the standard message I wrote up for everyone. Feeling of the stern from the breaking-up, I cannot forgive him.

.. I need some time.. sorry.

.. .

Re the argument, as always, my mum and I, like last new year, argued again about some tiny (bitchy) stuffs.

For god’s sake!

I do not understand why this happened. I do not know what my mum was thinking, why she was complaining about my eating along the trip to-and-fro Cha-am. That extremely bored me!

My holiday seemed to be damn boring. It was not a real holiday. I did not feel so at all!!!

My days had gone without happiness. Where is my HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??

Merry Christmas*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Monday, 25 December 2006 at 5:04 pm

Would this be a reason that I had an omen of thinking of Tri in the past few days? He texted me this morning, saying Merry Xmas. And, well, yes, I replied after I had thought that I should to keep friendship going (doubtedly).

Somehow, I just started thinking of him a few days ago. I also recalled our relationship and when we broke up, 1st Jan 2006. It is almost a year that we broke up.

Without any situation, I again thought of him in the following days. Until today, he texted me after he stopped doing so for almost a year.

Thinking carefully, I finally replied once. I did not reply his second message because I did not see any importance of doing so. I have shown my (almost fake) empathy :p

Anyway.. Merry Christmas to me.. hehee. Did not work much today since I have the FPC project to finish by tonight if possible. The presentation will be conducted tomorrow!!

OK.. gotta go.

*Note to self:
Be myself!

HBD*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Friday, 3 November 2006 at 5:52 pm

It was my birthday yesterday. Got a lot of blessing and saying of HBD..

The first who blessed me is Shoji.. !!

From: SHOJI KOIKE [mailto:shoji.koike@horizon-mobile.com] On Behalf Of shoji.koike@gmail.com
Sent: Thursday, November 02, 2006 8:28 AM
To: Nalinrat Phongchaiyong
Subject: Hey hey hey!!!
Mooky,

Is it your birthday, isnt it?

Wishing you all the best from the land of rising sun :)

Thinking of something nice to say but my brains been emersed with bgan bgan, and bgan… hahaha.

Theres one tranquil yet sweet line concerning love ones living apart from one another:
How near is far, how far is near. If you look up to the sky, you will see the same star.

That was from better half of me, and heres my pick up line I recently learned:
Didnt it hurt? when you fell off the heaven?

Alright.. enough jokes for a day :) Happy Birthday Mooky!!!

Chok dee na,
Sho

This surprised me!! Hahaa… but as how he is.. Mr. Yellow as always :p

Other colleagues were.. Lauren, Elaine, Dylan, Louis, Dear, Jeff, Sean (with a box of 340B dark chocolate with macadamia nuts and 200B Jelly Belly), Marcus (with 150B mint dark chocolate), P’Karn, P’Ann (Billing Dept with a card and a Sheaffer pen), P’Nok, Cee, P’Pek, Iew, P’Ed, P’Boy, P’Jack, and many more from Bangkok office.

This year, I have 18 new friends from CMMU and about 13 out of them said HBD with some blessing messages.

Na also sent a message!

… a lot this year.. though..

.. Tri did not seem to remember my birthday, but that’s okay. I would not need to remember his either.
.. My mum totally forgot that it was 2/11, my birthday! But we planned to dinner because she won a lotto _*_

Impressed enough.. people made my birthday more important.. Thank you!

:)

EQ, Office Society*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Wednesday, 28 June 2006 at 3:36 am

What do you think about the following kind of people?

.. One who is not concerned much about having lunch with colleauges, but alone in the office.

(1) One reason is because during lunch time, people would often gossip about work-related issues. (2) Another is she can enjoy doing something else instead of spending some time walking to a food court and waiting for another 30 minutes for her colleauges to slowly finish their dishes. (3) And one more reason is that she can limit the cost of a meal instead of paying more on the way back to the office for some snacks (she needs to save for her study).

.. One who does not care about participating in any night parties with colleauges, unless held by a company, though sponsored by a shareholder.

Reasons are (1) she just feels like this is a way that shareholder (there is just one shareholder who keeps treating the staff like this) tries to buy the staff. Sincere and truthful hearts cannot be purchased by money, negatively thinking by her, but the same sincere and truthful heart(s). He will always look happy when someone tries to treat him like he is a god and there is nobody as good or important as he is. And she strongly believes he knows why those people treat him like that (his money, no wonder). Those parties are like a scene in a play that everybody has to have a role, while she does not want to take a role she is not willing to. (2) She is not also an alcohol drinker, so when she joins the parties, she would drink only juice and mineral water, as well as will leave for home earlier than others.

.. One who thinks that it is quite difficult to find a best friend from an office society, unlike from a school or university.

(1) A reason is that there are more politics in an office than in a college. This influences how a colleague would act to her. She finds it difficult for her to be pretentious to someone, and to see someone being pretentious to her. (2) What she prefers is some friendly talks about work when required (no gossip of a person’s habit or a confidential issue of a company), about general issues in the world or about herself and themselves, and about some discussions or comments on a particular thing or situation.

..

.. And that SHE is ME! LOL..

..

Well, this may not be funny………. Well.. is it?

..

My mum also faced the similar situations. She normally has lunch in her office, including some of her young colleauges (my mum is almost the oldest in the company). Most of those usually group together for lunch, while my mum prefers having lunch alone (which she takes about 15 minuts to finish, like I do), instead of being in those groups bullshitting to each other.

Her colleagues are even worse than mine (my colleauges are not bad actually, but I just feel a bit disassociated). Her office is more considerably politic than mine. At least one of them who was very close to my mum previously.

This two-faced (or more) lady had talked behind someone’s back about their badness and how much she disliked them. Now, she nicely treats those people as if she is a servant who is always willing to carry 3-4 kgs of stuffs every morning to give out to those people for free (to act as if she is very open-minded and caring!) Before, she had told my mum that she would do this in order to buy those people, who had insulted her in many ways.

(And if I were her, I would not treat nicely back to ones who have insulted me badly.)

My mum and I have some discussions about this when we are on the way to work and vice versa. This made me think of posting this entry.

I wonder if we have some EQ problems!? Maybe, we do. Is it wrong not to converse with people in our office society when we do not have to? Or should we talk shit here and there to keep a connection going? I know sometimes ‘connections’ are important in our lives, esp when we need to get grower in a company. But isn’t a good working performance enough?

I am not a dog licking someone’s toes in order to get promoted while my heart says NO, though.

Ai yoh.. have I made this entry too serious? But, anyway, I have finished it!

Do you find it difficult to live in a society?

Impatience*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Friday, 9 June 2006 at 5:51 pm

Bored..

Distracted..

Angry (though will forget about it quite quickly after that)..

Hot-tempered..

All that bad is in me.. Where is my patience?

My impatience also did take an action in the past few days..

I gave up with the 14-day (semi) detoxification. The life without carbohydrate was too difficult for me.

Being vegetarian is much more preferred. Vegetarian can have cereal, oats, whole grains, nuts, and beans. These are my favourite. Ya.. but they make me get more fat Image

I can stop eating meats, but not fish.
I can stop having processed carbohydrate, but not whole grains and nuts.

Well, or am I just blaming on carbohydrate lacking!?!? Actually, I am just an impatient girl?

Aaawwww…. Image

Well, thinking positively (say, supporting my own self), I at least can avoid some meats and have more veggies and fruits.

In fact, I should try to be a good vegetarian before trying to be a good detoxification doer.

The longer I can be vegetarian, the better I can endure the detox diet. (I began blaming something again!?)

(I guess) Image

Err.. A few-day detox diet is still okay for me, but not 14 days!!! I was like dying………….. Image

I should have a hale and hearty life, but with happiness as well, right?

Image

Ai yoh.. Am I blaming something once again??

Marriage*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Monday, 29 May 2006 at 9:04 pm

I talked to a friend who I had not kept in touch for a while because we all were busy.

She is going to get married on 9th September 2006! Oh, my friend is going to marry a man (who is also my friend)!

No doubt, I am joining. I am a friend of both the gloom and bride! Hehee.. a close friend, actually :) I was asked to help them on the wedding day as well. Must be fun.

Now, I have to get a nice dress, lose some weight (hahaa.. so who is marrying!?), and.. see what else they want me to help.

Out of my friends, they are the first two who will get married. That is a reason I am quite excited.

Seeing them, I question myself if I would have that chance.

Watching a few lovely TV plays about love of a couple, I wonder if that kind of love is real.

Thinking about my own experience, I say it is very difficult to find love that lasts long without obstacles, even in those plays I watch, a couple will have to be patient before the happy-ending.

While being the end of a few stories, Marriage is, in fact, a start of another life after the happy-ending story in a TV programme.

Perhaps, this kind of love lives would not happen to me.

I stopped expecting, dreaming or making my own boy-and-girl love stories. What I am doing is being in my real life, watching those plays with joy and smiling along.

The love is in my mind
I keep it with myself and persons nearby
Though I will not have a chance to share it with a speacial someone
I still have love to share with everyone

:)

Unbearable Feeling*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Tuesday, 23 May 2006 at 8:00 pm

Have you ever been in an unbearable feeling?

The feeling that you are not sure whether you are okay, upset, discouraged, tired, bored, happy, or else…

The feeling of being happy for some time, moody for some time, upset for some time, energetic for some time, and also bored for some time.

It is like a mixture of every bit here and there pressing into your heart, brain and soul until you cannot realise how you really feel.

I think I am in that mixture mood now…

I enjoy being here, Yahoo 360.

I am happy working in some parts of my current jobs.

On the other hand, I am also fed up with some parts of work I have to take care of.

I am full of hopes and courages that I will pass my entrance exam., and now I think of things I will have to do when I start the first trimester.

On the contrary, I am also worried if I can get a new job soon.

When am I going to get a new job? (I am looking for it)

Further, if I can get a new job, will it be a good job, and will the work atmosphere be as good as the current place?

Am I thinking too much? Each of the aforementioned is just a very little thing, but I mix all together!

I know.. my bad.. but I cannot come over! I am still stuck with those messy thoughts! I am stucked so much that my tears dropped this morning.

Why, Mook? Why…!?

Well.. People can lack confidence some time………..

…….. TAKE A DEEP BREATH! ………

Tomorrow.. at least when tomorrow comes, I will know my exam result.. and I have to think again what I should do next.

And once I know……. I will try to remind myself to be organised………….. brian- and mind- organised.

I am 26! Be mature! (I am telling myself)

..1 day to go.. (exam result tomorrow!)

Colours of Smiles*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Thursday, 4 May 2006 at 2:18 pm

Colours of Smiles

I am getting mad playing around with this smiling pic.. Hehee.. I would like to put all together in one same pic, but a bit too difficult and I need some time to do so. Thus, I just captured this screenshot when I opened the folder keeping the files Image

No matter what colours of A SMILE you have in different periods of time, that is still A SMILE.

A SMILE that can lighten up your heart and soul, so that you are YOUNG AT HEART no matter how young (old) you are.

A SMILE that can brighten up surrounding people’s hearts and souls, so that they are also YOUNG AT HEARTS and you will be surrounded by YOUNG people!

A SMILE that can freshen any grey situation to bright white situation with glitter Image (why glitter!?.. anyway..), so that any problem has at least a solution right in front of you. Look at the little light over there!

A SMILE that can be an encouraging tool. A reluctant person can be much more confident when he/she looks at you and sees you are amiably smiling to them. A disappointed person feel stronger when he/she sees you showing them your comforting smile.

How valuable a smile is!

I will keep smiling, and (please) so will you.

Let’s be YOUNG-AT-HEART people.. Please smile Image (You can smile without showing your teeth if you don’t want… LOL)

Smiles Conquer!*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Wednesday, 3 May 2006 at 8:47 am

Smiles Conquer!

‘Smile, an everlasting smile
The smile can bring you near to me
Don’t ever let me find you wrong
Cause that would bring a tear to me’

Hehe.. There is no relationship between my smile and the lyric. Talking about SMILE, I recalled this song because of wording. That’s it.

PEOPLE, let’s SMILE… say CHEESEeeeee Image

Smiles Conquer!

Smiles Conquer!

Smiles Conquer!

Smiles Conquer!

Smiles Conquer!

Image

About a Book*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Monday, 24 April 2006 at 5:13 pm

How do you select a book?By its cover?
By its colours and pictures?
By its character and font size?
By its price and language?
By its content and knowledge you will get?
.. Or else? What else?

How thorough you look at a book when you think of buying one for reading?

Some books have very nice hard covers with attractive multi colours, but the characters are too small and the price is too high. Perhaps there is nothing much inside. It sells its own outside look.

They are selling their looks, not their hearts and souls.

Some books have plain covers with four colours or less, plus the ancient characters and old-look paper. However, the content inside may be more fascinating, unlike the outside.

They are selling their contents, the hearts of them.

Some books were written in an own native language, but too difficult to understand. Seemingly, they were made up for someone else suitable to them, but not you.

On the contrary, some books were written in another second language you know, but you could understand them easily. They are made up for you.

Again, some books contain very knowledgeable content, but they are too complicated; while some books include the same knowledge with an easier explanation.

Which one will you choose?

To me, I prefer a book with…….

- a small number of straightforward pictures (but no abstracts please),

- black and white (black is my favourite colour),

- paperback or recycle paper (so that I can give the Earth in return),

- understandable language and content (I do not want to have a headache before I can finish a book),

- interesting from the inside, not only the outside (otherwise, I will get bored since the first glance on the first page of the book), and

- all for now (tell you later when I can think of more Image)

……. Well, perhaps I should compose my own book to fit my needs.. hehee Image

How about you?

Perhaps Love*

In Emotions*, Music* on Saturday, 22 April 2006 at 5:15 pm

That is a name of a movie I saw today. It is a Chinese (I think HK) movie about LOVE.What I could infer from the movie partly was that….

.. An ex-(perhaps)love is not too bad to remember though the relation did not last long till today;
.. Just smile and think of impressive love experiences, and then keep walking forward;
.. Do not hate your ex(s). Isn’t it them who made you experienced?;
.. I may have thought myself that what I had felt before was love. What if it was not?; and
.. Oh, well.. no matter that was a ‘real’ love or not. Look forward to seeing you, L-O-V-E Image

Here comes the name (in my opinion)… Perhaps Love.

Are you sure you know WHAT LOVE IS?

The Scent*

In Emotions* on Saturday, 22 April 2006 at 4:48 pm

Have you ever loved someone?

Have you ever broken up with somone?

Have you ever gradually forgotten your beloved’s face, the activities you had done together, and even things he had given; but remembered his scent?

Yes, I mean the scent, the mild smell particularly felt and got when you were near him who had never applied a perfume. And when you smelt it, you knew it was him.

Strange, huh?

Yes, it was strange to me that after 4-month break-up, I smelt of the scent just today!

He was not in Thailand, and not sitting next to me and we had not met for 4 months (and I think we will never meet again forever). How could my mind and my heart still remember the scent. The scent I had never smelt from anybody else, but him.

Perhaps it was because I went to a theatre alone for 2 movies today, i.e. The Wild and Perhaps Love. I used a movie card I bought just before the break-up and meant to use it with him. Unfortunately, never had that chance!

Thinking why I bought the card, I somehow felt that the scent was blowing from somewhere and fading away. Then it came again.. and faded away.. throughout the 2-hour movie (Perhaps Love) I watched.

While I am writing this post, I do not feel of the scent at all. Even I tried to take a deep breath, but I smelt only the fish.. LOL. I am eating grilled fish now.

The scent smelt good, of course. I felt of warth in my heart when I smelt it.

Can this mean I still love him? Hardly say so.

I love the man who was my boyfriend, not him, not the ‘present‘ him. Today, the one I love is in my heart. Still love that guy.

At least, I memorised his scent. The only thing I remembered and will remember.

‘Hey, ex, forget that I told you we could be friends. I changed my mind. I prefer keeping my 3-year boyfriend in my heart. He will be him as long as I want to. But for the current you, it is totally different. You are not the one I know of any longer. So just be apart forever, man. I swear I do not hate you. Image

..

That is just a feeling today. Do not think much about it. Just want to share.

P. S. I will write at least 2 posts or more today.. hehee Image

TGIF!*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Friday, 21 April 2006 at 4:47 pm

 

 

Finally, today is Friday. It seems I am counting to holidays these days. Yes, that is because of my boredom still persists.

 

Thanks God It’s Friday!

Although my mum is working tomorrow (I have to drive her to work and be with her all day), I can do something while waiting. I am going to have a relaxing weekend.

Saturday: I will tour Yahoo 360 and Yahoo Answers, reading friends’ blogs and answering people’s questions. Image

Sunday: My mum planned to go to a beach. She said perhaps we will go, but I know she wanted to go because she has prepared foods for having at the beach already (but still say ‘perhaps.’ LOL) .. Surely, we go, mum.

Well, I am not only counting the boring, but also the enjoying! I am going to attend an Open House session of Colleage of Management, Mahidol University (CMMU) that will introduce about courses they provide for studying.

I am interested in a Master’s Degree programme in Innovation in Management (IM). It sounds more interesting than General Management (GM).

I got some infomation on IM and GM and to me, IM is great! Dealing more with a business system is more attractive than with people!!!! People’s minds are much more complicated to cope with.

Next Sunday I will go for the Open House and see how Marketing and Management (MM) and Financial Management (FM) are like.

It is worth getting all information before I choose to spend two years and finish a management programme with CMMU.

Oh.. oh.. oh.. I have to check now what documents I need for applying for a programme with this college, so that I can apply right away next Sunday. Good that I wrote about it here today, or I would forget!!

Anyone who is reading this and has a little time to look through all four programmes (click on the abbreviated), I would much appreciate your suggestions about each programme.

I mean it! Thanks loadssssssss…….

P. S. Hey, mum. It seems you are much, much more confident with my driving, huh? Ask me out every weekend.. Hahaa.. Image Confess, mum, confess please. I know you like my driving though you complain a bit here and there every day. Image Hehee… You are prepared for a beach on Sunday, eh? I am ready too. Let’s go!

P. P. S. Do you like my slippers?

Wrong Since Born As a Girl*

In Emotions* on Wednesday, 19 April 2006 at 7:22 am

This should be what my mum has been thinking. What did she do wrong born to be a girl, a daughter of her mother’s (ya, ya, my grandmother)?

It was not her who decided to which gender she would be, but the chromosomes X and Y from her parents, wasn’t it? Scientifically, the Y is what to decide a gender of a foetus. Y makes a boy, while X makes a girl.

Not my mum’s fault!!!

Luckily, I was born to be my mum’s daughter as I am now. No gender discrimination. I believe even she had another kids who were boys, she would not pre-judge her children by gender. She knows how it feels being treated as inferior!

Mum, please do not care about the discrimination. Although your mother loves you less than she loves your brothers (yes, my uncles), you are loved by me, your daughter.

Is that okay, mum? I love you..

I realised how much I love my mother when I saw her cry. Just her shaking voice showing her tears were dropping from her eyes made me shed my tears. I do not want to see her cry. My mother usually expresses her mental and physical strengths. She dislikes me crying.

To me today, it is better to hear her complain. She really complains every day.. LOL Image I mean every SINGLE day… Haha..

The trick is I just listen quietly and patiently to whatever she is talking (yes, yes.. I mean complaining) and leave her like talking to herself for a while.. Then she will stop and change to another topic. If I argue, she will shout more and more (well, some time I cannot keep quiet… both of us were born on Sunday, remember?).

Then…… the world will be in peace… Hehee.. Image I learnt this from experience. We have argued A LOT before.

P. S. Back to work again tomorrow.. Sigh.. But well, work for two more days and then it is another weekend! Image

‘Seasons’ in My Heart*

In Emotions* on Tuesday, 18 April 2006 at 10:37 am

Yesterdays..

Rains were showering

Wind was blowing

And.. I was shedding tears like rains

All happened but yesterdays, not todays… Hopefully, not tomorrows

Indeed..

Rains come and go

Sky is cloudy and then shiny, even with rainbows

And.. My face is full of tears and then a bunch of smiles, though

Hardly has this World one season, and neither has my heart

… So? …

Sadness will not last long, and so will happiness

One day, you can be with loads of depressions and tears.. rainy

Next day, you may be full of esctasies and warmths.. summer

Another day, delight and cordiality you have got might be fading away.. autumn

Then, you could be overwhemled by loneliness and coldness, say.. winter

Again, TIME will be re-colouring your heart with joys each day.. spring

Nothing lasts long, and so do ’seasons’ in my heart.

Is It Really Just a Matter of Age Gap?*

In Emotions* on Sunday, 16 April 2006 at 3:00 pm

I have experienced some conflicts of age difference between my mum and I. I was born when my mum was 37 years old.

See? 37 years difference!

When I was young, everything seemed to be all right. I just followed what she wanted me to do or whatever she planned for me as I was a kid. The beginning of some changes was when I turned to be a teenager.

.. I was 17 when my mum was 54.
.. I was enjoying my teen’s life, while my mum started her golden age.
.. I wanted to go out with friends, but my mum did drag me out with her friends and herself.

.. I thought of something with my own present right ways, while my mum did in her own old right ways.

.. I understood one thing my way, while she also had her own way of comprehension.

.. etc..

None of the above is bad, I would say, though some time they caused a few conflicts and arguments. The point is both of us are quick-tempered, like Sunday people (I am blaming on the day we were bone.. hehe).

Somehow, I some time do not understand much about her feelings. Both of us do not understand each other as much as we are supposed to do. We may understand but we do not want to spoil each other.

Well, I also realised that another reason of the arguments, apart from the age gap, might be because I am her only child. She has only me to be expected, to be mostly cared, and to be worried about. I am quite under pressure of being like this. I know I should not upset her in any way.

Anyway, being the most beloved is what I am proud of as well. I do not lack any love (though I do no thave a boyfriend). I have received loads of loves from my beloved mother.
Love you, mum.

……..

To me, the problem might be from the age gap, but how about my mum and her mother (yes, my grandmother)? Not the age gap, I believe. My grandmother is about 25 years older than my mum, or maybe less.

If asked to think about the reasons of some arguments, I would guess..

.. They did not live together much enough. My mum had to move to central Thailand, while my grandma was in northeastern Thailand when my mum was young. Thus, they did not share their thoughts much.

.. My grandmother is old and she just wants everything to be done as she expects (back to be like a kid).

.. My grandmother is incapable of walking. She has to use a wheel chair, so she may feel annoyed that she could not walk to anywhere she wants.

.. As being a Chinese, my grandmother loves her sons more than daughters, and also loves the sons’ kids more than daughters’ kids.

.. Unfortunately, my mum is female, not male. Daughters never think right!

.. Perhaps my mum was not rich enough, unlike other siblings of hers.

.. etc..

Whatever it or they will be! I have no comment on this.

We both (my mum and I) will adapt ourselves to fit the situation and to ‘avoid’ any conflicts again. Perhaps without seeing us much, my grandmother will feel better, not being upset. Nobody (like us) will neither upset nor argue with her. Hope she will be happier this way. We will go only when needed and in some special occasions for not over an hour. More importantly, there will be no more overnight stay!

They love each other…. I know. But there is a gap somewhere……………

Last Working Day of the Week*

In Emotions*, Lives* on Wednesday, 12 April 2006 at 4:19 pm

Half-day work today because we had a small party for our coming Thai Traditional New Year, known as Songkran Days. Thailand have holidays on 13th – 14th April (Thursday and Friday). Then I have 4 connective days for relaxing :D

Planned to help my colleague with her translation about economics but I have finished it just now. Instead, I will help my mum’s colleauge for another translation about cosmetics, which I have finished some parts. Even so, I still have more time to do something else. Hopefully, I could finish it tomorrow, and that is it.

I will spend the other 3 holidays as my ‘real’ holidays.. hehee. No need to work on anything (I may have to check my office e-mail regularly anyway because other countries are working on those days).

Really, feel like I need a rest now. Quite sleepy, and tired because I did translate the economic things since early morning (0700hrs) till an hour before now (around 1530hrs).

During the period, I also had to walk to a supermarket to get some pints of ice-cream for a small party held in the office, go to a shop on the ground floor to get some ice, prepare almost all stuffs to be ready for every staff to start eating right away, etc.

… Feel more like I am a maid now… Sigh.. Sick of it, honestly! This is not me.

Anyway, also feel like I need Starbucks, Iced Grande Latte Low-Fat Milk, no syrup!!!!!!!!! Aggghhhh…..

P. S. My company had a small Thai new year party today. We had lunch and splashed some water with joys. I am still full and soaked!

Boredom*

In Emotions* on Saturday, 8 April 2006 at 7:49 pm

I do not want to start my first day with my boredom of work, but somehow this is a topic I can think of now. Image Smiling, I feel much better now.

Almost every single days in the last two weeks, I felt really bored, not of work, but colleauges, honestly.

Some jobs got stuck, stopped and delayed because I had to wait for someone who had never given response, and kept me waiting for an update like an idiot! Not even that, I was left talking alone in e-mail correspondence.

(I solved this never-been-responded situation by assuming that everyone in the correspondence acknowledged and I did my best by keeping them posted in everything I was doing. Do not ask for more!)

Some colleauges were too demanding and could not keep their words of not doing this and going to do that. Then I almost became a bad guy requesting things for them with our Account Dept.

(I solved this by asking them to request Account Dept themselves. They were copied in those e-mails we talked about payment for software jobs before! I had taken parts of my fault and complaints first time but not any if that would not be because of me.)

Someone seemed not to get a big picture of the company’s business, but their own department. They did everything to keep only their department happy. Although I understood why they did so, I did not think that was the best way as we were living in a society, neither alone nor in a small group. How dare they said that nothing would be done during Thailand’s public holidays, while other countries (Singapore, Australia, Japan, and Hong Kong) were in working days. Everyone had to stop working and wait for only them? Wanted to send them to study B-U-S-I-N-E-S-S!

(I did not solve this though as I was not really in trouble and did not care what they ordered us NOT TO DO! I would do whatever I wanted if my customers would want anything.)

Well, the above should be parts of the boredom, I guess (why guess?). Gotta go now. I am leaving for home (at mum’s office now).

Laters.