Is It Really Just a Matter of Age Gap?*

Sunday, 16 April 2006 § Leave a comment

I have experienced some conflicts of age difference between my mum and I. I was born when my mum was 37 years old.

See? 37 years difference!

When I was young, everything seemed to be all right. I just followed what she wanted me to do or whatever she planned for me as I was a kid. The beginning of some changes was when I turned to be a teenager.

.. I was 17 when my mum was 54.
.. I was enjoying my teen’s life, while my mum started her golden age.
.. I wanted to go out with friends, but my mum did drag me out with her friends and herself.

.. I thought of something with my own present right ways, while my mum did in her own old right ways.

.. I understood one thing my way, while she also had her own way of comprehension.

.. etc..

None of the above is bad, I would say, though some time they caused a few conflicts and arguments. The point is both of us are quick-tempered, like Sunday people (I am blaming on the day we were bone.. hehe).

Somehow, I some time do not understand much about her feelings. Both of us do not understand each other as much as we are supposed to do. We may understand but we do not want to spoil each other.

Well, I also realised that another reason of the arguments, apart from the age gap, might be because I am her only child. She has only me to be expected, to be mostly cared, and to be worried about. I am quite under pressure of being like this. I know I should not upset her in any way.

Anyway, being the most beloved is what I am proud of as well. I do not lack any love (though I do no thave a boyfriend). I have received loads of loves from my beloved mother.
Love you, mum.

……..

To me, the problem might be from the age gap, but how about my mum and her mother (yes, my grandmother)? Not the age gap, I believe. My grandmother is about 25 years older than my mum, or maybe less.

If asked to think about the reasons of some arguments, I would guess..

.. They did not live together much enough. My mum had to move to central Thailand, while my grandma was in northeastern Thailand when my mum was young. Thus, they did not share their thoughts much.

.. My grandmother is old and she just wants everything to be done as she expects (back to be like a kid).

.. My grandmother is incapable of walking. She has to use a wheel chair, so she may feel annoyed that she could not walk to anywhere she wants.

.. As being a Chinese, my grandmother loves her sons more than daughters, and also loves the sons’ kids more than daughters’ kids.

.. Unfortunately, my mum is female, not male. Daughters never think right!

.. Perhaps my mum was not rich enough, unlike other siblings of hers.

.. etc..

Whatever it or they will be! I have no comment on this.

We both (my mum and I) will adapt ourselves to fit the situation and to ‘avoid’ any conflicts again. Perhaps without seeing us much, my grandmother will feel better, not being upset. Nobody (like us) will neither upset nor argue with her. Hope she will be happier this way. We will go only when needed and in some special occasions for not over an hour. More importantly, there will be no more overnight stay!

They love each other…. I know. But there is a gap somewhere……………

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