Saturday, 22 April 2006 § Leave a comment
Have you ever loved someone?
Have you ever broken up with somone?
Have you ever gradually forgotten your beloved’s face, the activities you had done together, and even things he had given; but remembered his scent?
Yes, I mean the scent, the mild smell particularly felt and got when you were near him who had never applied a perfume. And when you smelt it, you knew it was him.
Yes, it was strange to me that after 4-month break-up, I smelt of the scent just today!
He was not in Thailand, and not sitting next to me and we had not met for 4 months (and I think we will never meet again forever). How could my mind and my heart still remember the scent. The scent I had never smelt from anybody else, but him.
Perhaps it was because I went to a theatre alone for 2 movies today, i.e. The Wild and Perhaps Love. I used a movie card I bought just before the break-up and meant to use it with him. Unfortunately, never had that chance!
Thinking why I bought the card, I somehow felt that the scent was blowing from somewhere and fading away. Then it came again.. and faded away.. throughout the 2-hour movie (Perhaps Love) I watched.
While I am writing this post, I do not feel of the scent at all. Even I tried to take a deep breath, but I smelt only the fish.. LOL. I am eating grilled fish now.
The scent smelt good, of course. I felt of warth in my heart when I smelt it.
Can this mean I still love him? Hardly say so.
I love the man who was my boyfriend, not him, not the ‘present‘ him. Today, the one I love is in my heart. Still love that guy.
At least, I memorised his scent. The only thing I remembered and will remember.
‘Hey, ex, forget that I told you we could be friends. I changed my mind. I prefer keeping my 3-year boyfriend in my heart. He will be him as long as I want to. But for the current you, it is totally different. You are not the one I know of any longer. So just be apart forever, man. I swear I do not hate you. ‘
That is just a feeling today. Do not think much about it. Just want to share.
P. S. I will write at least 2 posts or more today.. hehee