Meditation for Better EQ*

Wednesday, 19 December 2007 § 1 Comment

‘Mum, I think I should go somewhere for meditation.’

‘Why? Who told you to do that?’

‘No one. It is myself. I feel that I need more control over my emotion.’

‘…’

‘Ah, I’d better talk to my auntie-in-law.’

‘Yea, she said she would ask you to join her when she had a plan for any meditation.’

‘Hmm.. good then.’

..

Experiencing myself getting very emotional each day, and hardly being able to bring back my positive feelings and thinking about people around; I feel annoyed about myself.

Besides, a situation yesterday afternoon made me realise that though I tried to be positive and optimistic, my inner thought is very negative and pessimistic. What I really do is just hiding my real feelings and trying to be nice to everyone. And once I cannot stand being like that, the negative feelings just explode!

The situation was that, while I was studying for the exam, Pek and Meen came into the study room. They are very kind and always helpful to everyone. More importantly, they have never made me feel that they are taking advantages of anyone. On the contrary, they are taken advantages of by others.

Before they arrived, they had asked me to explain this and that in the chapter my friends and I presented in class. I am not good at explaining something, but I tried. However, mostly, it was them who explaining and digesting everything in other lectures to me. They did that on their own will, and I was a good learner.

They are a very lovely couple and I am looking forward to their wedding. Hope they would invite me to join and I would definitely go!

Well, the real point I want to mention here is that, although they may not like a few friends’ behaviours who act as freeriders, or may feel awkward with a few friends who pretend not being knowledgeable in anything; they are able to getting along with those friends, while they do not look unhappy.

I think they just do not think about those friends too much and ignore some bad behaviours they do not like. When talking to those friends, I reckon, they may not try to recall negative feelings up to the point that may cause them to stop talking to those people.

I am in contrast, somehow. One thing impacts the rest in a roll. That’s me! I am making things even worse.

Normally, I do not complain much. Most who only see me in the first few times or who have never worked in group with me would rarely see how I am.

  • I can be very kind when I feel people are fair with me.
  • I can be very understanding when people have good reasons to support their behaviours.
  • I can be very reasonable when people show me that they are reasonable as well.
  • I can be convinced and taught by those who can show me that they are also following the same things they are suggesting me. Show me you can also do that; otherwise, do not dare teaching me!
  • I can be very considerate when people show me they contribute a lot to the group work.
  • I can be very sympathised and helpful when people show me that they have tried very hard to get a thing done, but they fail and need my assistance.

On the other hand,..

  • I can be very mean when people ignore my offer of helping and they cannot complete the task which impact the whole group.
  • I can ignore whatever-whoever without trying to understand when people always use the same reason that they are not born to do this. Is this a supporting reason? I am not sure if it is.
  • I can be upset and negative once I find that those who try to teach me something in this real world cannot even follow their own words in their own lives, especially when they break their words by doing such things (they said it was not proper) with me. They tell me not to do, while they do it themselves!
  • I can be a devil when people keep playing around without showing their attention and intention to work by hoping that at the end of the day their work would be covered and edited by others, or hoping that others would step in and help them finish the work. I ignore these people.

And when these negative feelings happen, I would spend over a week to have them faded away. This is not good for myself.

I have a problem with my EQ!

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§ One Response to Meditation for Better EQ*

  • Vow!!
    Such a beutiful blog!
    ..
    ..
    You need ta go nowhere for meditation my dear little mook.

    Just stop doing somthing thinking of other throw that effective time management for certain time and back ta your breath, realize what are you doing that’s all, We could do it now n here, my dear.

    karawa

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