Argument Reduction*

Saturday, 31 January 2009 § Leave a comment

Living a life is sometimes, if not most of the time, complicated. Each person thinks, does, and lives her/his life in a different way. No complaint. No doubt. Nobody would be the same, even twins, who have been together for almost 9 months before born.

What we say, think, and do will impact others in a way, more or less, and perhaps the reflect of that impact will revert to us as fast as a thunder at the end.

However, nobody would be able to say, think or do something to please everybody in all aspects. One has her/his own perspectives, and the others have theirs.

This makes the argument comes into play. Very few people live their lives without arguing with others. And it is strange that, to me, most arguments are with those in my family, with those that I am close to. The closer, the more.. somehow. We even argue with ourselves!

What causes those arguments? Varied.

Misunderstanding, discussing (some people call it this way instead of arguing though it looks like the latter), (just) talking out loud, (just) speaking our minds, being frank, having a ‘minus’ attitude towards somebody, stereotyping in a negative way, pretending to be able to read others’ minds, assuming, mis-interpreting, etc.

Countless!

Solutions?

Think thoroughly about anything we are going to do and say before we really make it happen.

Act discretely until we are certain of what we are doing. Do not even let our eyes readable by others.

Shut our mouths if we have not carefully considered what we are to say. Silence can heal sometimes.

..
.

I am telling myself..

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Eat One a Week*

Wednesday, 25 June 2008 § 2 Comments

Reading this, I am urged to start my reading again. I have more than 5 books unfinished. I started a few and have not completed one of them. I bought some as a collection, e.g. The Chronicles of Narnia, and I have just finished one of the 7 books.. (Oh, so now I have more than 10 books unread, I think).

To my feeling, I may like reading a non-fiction one more than a fiction, but The Chronicles of Narnia and Pricess Diary are exceptions. How many exceptions will I have!?!?

OK.. Got urged.. and now I will just have to TRY HARDER to learn how to EAT books.

:p

Meditation for Better EQ*

Wednesday, 19 December 2007 § 1 Comment

‘Mum, I think I should go somewhere for meditation.’

‘Why? Who told you to do that?’

‘No one. It is myself. I feel that I need more control over my emotion.’

‘…’

‘Ah, I’d better talk to my auntie-in-law.’

‘Yea, she said she would ask you to join her when she had a plan for any meditation.’

‘Hmm.. good then.’

..

Experiencing myself getting very emotional each day, and hardly being able to bring back my positive feelings and thinking about people around; I feel annoyed about myself.

Besides, a situation yesterday afternoon made me realise that though I tried to be positive and optimistic, my inner thought is very negative and pessimistic. What I really do is just hiding my real feelings and trying to be nice to everyone. And once I cannot stand being like that, the negative feelings just explode!

The situation was that, while I was studying for the exam, Pek and Meen came into the study room. They are very kind and always helpful to everyone. More importantly, they have never made me feel that they are taking advantages of anyone. On the contrary, they are taken advantages of by others.

Before they arrived, they had asked me to explain this and that in the chapter my friends and I presented in class. I am not good at explaining something, but I tried. However, mostly, it was them who explaining and digesting everything in other lectures to me. They did that on their own will, and I was a good learner.

They are a very lovely couple and I am looking forward to their wedding. Hope they would invite me to join and I would definitely go!

Well, the real point I want to mention here is that, although they may not like a few friends’ behaviours who act as freeriders, or may feel awkward with a few friends who pretend not being knowledgeable in anything; they are able to getting along with those friends, while they do not look unhappy.

I think they just do not think about those friends too much and ignore some bad behaviours they do not like. When talking to those friends, I reckon, they may not try to recall negative feelings up to the point that may cause them to stop talking to those people.

I am in contrast, somehow. One thing impacts the rest in a roll. That’s me! I am making things even worse.

Normally, I do not complain much. Most who only see me in the first few times or who have never worked in group with me would rarely see how I am.

  • I can be very kind when I feel people are fair with me.
  • I can be very understanding when people have good reasons to support their behaviours.
  • I can be very reasonable when people show me that they are reasonable as well.
  • I can be convinced and taught by those who can show me that they are also following the same things they are suggesting me. Show me you can also do that; otherwise, do not dare teaching me!
  • I can be very considerate when people show me they contribute a lot to the group work.
  • I can be very sympathised and helpful when people show me that they have tried very hard to get a thing done, but they fail and need my assistance.

On the other hand,..

  • I can be very mean when people ignore my offer of helping and they cannot complete the task which impact the whole group.
  • I can ignore whatever-whoever without trying to understand when people always use the same reason that they are not born to do this. Is this a supporting reason? I am not sure if it is.
  • I can be upset and negative once I find that those who try to teach me something in this real world cannot even follow their own words in their own lives, especially when they break their words by doing such things (they said it was not proper) with me. They tell me not to do, while they do it themselves!
  • I can be a devil when people keep playing around without showing their attention and intention to work by hoping that at the end of the day their work would be covered and edited by others, or hoping that others would step in and help them finish the work. I ignore these people.

And when these negative feelings happen, I would spend over a week to have them faded away. This is not good for myself.

I have a problem with my EQ!

Time on IM*

Sunday, 11 November 2007 § Leave a comment

After reading The 7 deadly sins of instant messaging from 43 Folders, I found that some of time has been partly spent on IM. Thus, I decided to turn off my MSN and Skype right away.

I still have Gtalk online because I send tweets through Gtalk sometimes.

Although IM does not normally consume much of my time, I reckon that having it offline would help me be more concentrated on what I am doing.

Next step I would try is that to limit my time on all websites, Facebook, WordPress, Blogger, Bloglines, etc, I like surfing around.

The activites on the mentioned sites consume my time more than IM actually.

Anyway, without MSN/ Skype on, I feel that I do not have to worry, wonder, and keep looking at the chat programmes whether my friends or those I expect are online.

Why do I have to expect someone to online? I do not know :p

 

.

.

An hour after I sent this post, I found out that my MSN and Skype were online without showing themselves in my system tray (so I did not see them). I realised this when a friend from MSN said hello..

Hahaa.. OK.

I changed the settings of both MSN and Skype not to be automatically logged in, so that they are under my control.. Hehee.

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